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Fresh ways to combat stress

Tackle tension at its source by analysing and changing behaviours that can make you feel overwhelmed.

By Vera Nicholas-Gervais

Stress has become a hallmark of our times. Pick up any magazine and you're bound to find an article about ways to beat stress -- ranging from tranquil bubble baths behind locked doors to spa getaways. These are wonderful indulgences, but usually provide no more than a fleeting respite from stress. That's because most of these "de-stressors" are action-specific rather than attitude-oriented, treating the symptoms rather than the underlying causes of stress. So we end up lurching from de-stressor to de-stressor while overlooking the inner attitudes and habits that set us up for stress.

To authentically relieve stress in a lasting way, re-evaluate your choices and get to the core issues that create tension for you. Here are some common scenarios and what you can do about them:

You're a stressed-out mom with little, or no, time to regroup and take care of yourself.
Look at your underlying triggers for stress and determine whether it's fatigue, lack of time for yourself, or some other factor. Don't rely on an occasional quick-fix escape. Instead, reserve a few hours a week for time alone to spend however you wish.

You're chained to your computer and e-mail rules your life.
Consider limiting your e-mail exchanges for narrowly defined professional purposes only, and "rehumanize" your contact with short phone calls and handwritten notes. Rediscover the seemingly lost art of truly connecting with others.

For more ways to ease everyday stress consider the following strategies:

Revisit the way you work.
Analyse whether your job runs you, or whether you are in control of your working environment. Is it time to explore part-time hours, flex-time options, a work-from-home arrangement, or even a career makeover? Have your job fit your life, not the other way around.

Commit to more sensual living at every opportunity.
Reclaim your enjoyment of all five senses and revel in them every chance you get. For example, I found myself briefly transported the other day, just eating a ripe mango in the sun-dappled shade and watching my two kittens chase butterflies in the garden. Weave even the smallest sensory pleasures into your life whenever you can and notice how it feels.

Look at your relationships with a fresh eye.
Ask yourself how present and committed you are to the people in your life. Unspoken feelings and expectations, failure to show appreciation or affection, and lack of consideration can undermine your well-being and hinder your ability to cope with otherwise manageable challenges. Try relating to your partner, family, friends and colleagues in a more authentic way. Take off the mask and gently be who you really are with all of them, and watch your stress level recede like an ocean at low tide.

Go to where the real issues are, and you'll combat stress before it gets a hold on you. "Stressed-out" is really "stressed-in." Look inside yourself, and undo tension at its source.

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