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WHAT'S NEW
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Be the best holiday guest
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Seven ways to make sure you're invited back next year.
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By Karen von Hahn
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4. Go with the flow
Good guests are flexible. You might always decorate the tree the first day of December, but it's not right to insist that your hosts, who always throw up a tree on Christmas Eve, should do the same. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," stresses Dowsling, who also emphasizes that this is particularly important when visiting in-laws. "You will never be right in terms of asserting your way of doing things with his family."
"It can get difficult," observes Cynthia. "My father-in-law likes to take so many pictures and we are often looking at ourselves opening our gifts on his digital camera 10 minutes after we actually opened them. And my nieces and nephews are allowed to play Game Boy for hours. It creates a problem when I don't let my kids do the same. But you just have to lie low and remind yourself it's just for the day."
5. Get over the guilt
Sometimes it's OK to just say no, even when relatives make you feel guilty about not coming home for the holidays. "You have the right to say, ‘No thanks, I have enough on my plate right now and I just can't do it,'" says Leventhal. The same goes for turning down a second helping of turkey that you don't really want, or another cocktail party invitation you feel pressured to attend. And guess what? If you do go home for the holidays, it's OK to politely turn down the invitation to stay at your sister's and check into a hotel instead.
6. Play fair
When you are under someone's roof, it's not open season to discuss their failings as a homemaker, daughter, wife or mother, or to settle old scores. While this may sound like a no-brainer, when family gets together even the best-behaved people tend to forget their manners. "A good guest doesn't make things unpleasant or uncomfortable," says Mallett. "While you are someone's guest, you should be their biggest fan."
7. Deal with it -- discreetly
"If your in-laws irritate you or your mother pushes those same old buttons, documenting it all in a journal, or even a letter that you burn immediately afterward, is a great way to vent without hurting anyone," says Sukornyk. You can also try stepping out for a walk when tensions run high. Even if it's 50 below outside, this is a better idea than blowing your stack indoors.
There. Now that you have the inside scoop on how to make "home for the holidays" a pleasure, I hope that this will indeed be a holiday season to remember -- and for all the right reasons.
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