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The art of appreciation

Five easy ways to show your sweetie that you care.

By Emily Kimber

If you're in a long-term relationship, you may have noticed that your lover is as much a part of who you are as those old holey socks you refuse to part with. The old socks and your lover can become almost interchangeable -- steadfast and reliable but easily forgotten when something really exciting, like a 50 per cent off handbag sale, comes along.

Maybe you figure that although you don't talk about it much, your mate knows how you feel, right? Not necessarily. So if you don't want to end up realizing that you and your chosen one haven't talked about anything but energy-efficient light bulbs in months, you should learn to appreciate your mate and perhaps more importantly, how to show it.

Like bill-paying, loving gestures are easier when you have a system, so here are five easy ways to show that special someone they can still make your day. By telling them so, you'll probably make theirs.

1. Speak up
He's looking pretty sharp. Tell him. She always keeps the paper folded the way you like. Say thanks. Anne Mariner, a Halifax-based marriage and couple therapist says that too often we neglect to vocalize positive thoughts: "In North America we are trained to be efficient and productive and when we are satisfied, we tend not to mention it. It's only when things aren't going smoothly that we bring it up, that we raise a complaint."

2. Schedule time to talk
Today's busy lifestyles often mean that if communication isn't noted in your agenda, you won't devote time to it. So pencil it in. Mariner suggests sitting down with your partner at least once every two weeks to talk about your relationship. This isn't the time to talk about who fills up the gas tank more, unless you want to compliment your partner and appreciate the efforts they make. This time needs to be about the two of you, not about the everyday things that get in the way of "us" time.

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1. Make time to be together
2. Attitude and romance
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