Essay: Too young for breast cancer

I feel a bit like I've been through a war, a war with my own body. I'm heavier than I was, and the weight doesn't come off as fast. My hair used to be straight; now it's growing in curly. I know that in the big scheme of things, what's one boob? But I'm still in the process of trying to love the new me. Little steps, that's what I tell myself. I bought curl-enhancing hair products the other day. Little steps.

But it isn't just my body that's different. Cancer showed me who I could count on and how important the people I love are to me. I think so much more about what kind of person I am, and what kind of person I'd want to be remembered as.

I think my relationship with Mark has gotten stronger. We were in it together: the sickness and the PhD and the baby crying and people coming in and out of the house to help. It's funny -- we actually argue more than we did when I was sick. Someone said that maybe that's because it's safe to disagree now. I think she might be right. And Mason is incredible. I was so worried about the effects of the chemo, but he's so healthy and beautiful.

I want to put the cancer behind me, but I don't want to forget my journey and what I've triumphed over. When I was sick, I felt like I'd never have a normal life again. But I'm amazed at how resilient human beings are: two years later, we're adjusting to our new life, one in which Mason and Mark and I have all survived cancer. It's our new normal.

Help when we needed it
Help comes in many forms: Mark's parents dropping everything to come over every time we needed them, my mom just letting me cry about looking like an alien with no hair or eyebrows, and my friend Julie helping me buy a hat.

But it wasn't just friends and family who helped: One of the hardest things was feeling like I'm not like other moms, so I went to a support group that Rethink Breast Cancer started for young mothers with breast cancer. It was so comforting to know that I wasn't alone -- and so sad that there are so many of us. And Cancer Assistance Services of Halton Hills was there to help fill the gap, providing me with practical assistance like financial support for babysitting and help paying for wigs, things that neither the health system nor many private insurers cover.

If you'd like to support either of these organizations, you can make donations at cancerassistance.org and rethinkbreastcancer.com.

This article was first printed in the October 2008 issue of Homemakers Magazine. Click to subscribe online and never miss an issue.