Stuck in a rut? Take on a new challenge

You love your life...well, sort of. Your career hums along, but it isn't really in high gear and you fantasize about striking out on your own. Your weekends whiz by in a predictable blur of errands and social events, yet you would like to find time for volunteer work. And that half-marathon running clinic you've been meaning to take never seems to make it into your day planner. You'd love to spread your wings, but you're not sure you remember how.

Thoughts of shaking up your routine and fulfilling neglected desires -- whether to start a business, hop on the charity circuit or run a marathon -- often pop up once a woman hits midlife, notes Bonnie Haave, a psychologist in Edmonton and the former executive director of the Psychologists' Association of Alberta. With children on the road to independence or professional lives on a well-worn track, "midlife women may find themselves at that classic 'Is that all there is?' juncture," she says.Find time to reevaluate
Perhaps you've reached such a point in your life, otherwise known as a rut. You'd love to shake things up a bit, but can't seem to find the enthusiasm to clean out your closets let alone chart a new course. That's because "ruts have a way of sapping your energy," says Haave. "You start to think that something is wrong with you, that you're not good enough the way you are. And then you're really paralysed." What you need to do, says Haave, is release your inner dynamo -- that neglected part of you that says, I can do it and it'll be fun.

Barbara Swanston of Port Moody, B.C., found herself at a juncture after being laid off from a safe but uninspiring administrative job at a manufacturing company -- an experience that forced her to step back and reevaluate her life.

"I realized that for the past decade I had been doing the same thing, not only at work but on evenings and weekends, too," she recalls. "There weren't many surprises in my life." With two kids getting ready to leave the nest, Barbara, 54, became restless. "I had an urge to push through old boundaries," she adds.

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Beware of gremlins
First item on Barbara's list: get her body back in shape. A chronic yo-yo dieter, she enrolled in a 24-week health program that involved personalized nutritional counselling, inspirational coaching and a daily 30-minute workout. And then she heard the voice. "I call it 'the gremlin,'" she says. "It told me I had never been able to keep the weight off, so why would this time be different? It told me I was good at making excuses but not at sticking with my plans."

Why do such voices assail us just when we're ready to break free of our old ways and set our sights on more? According to Michele Pankratz, a consultant in Vancouver who helps people make life changes, we're frightened of change and of how unleashing our inner dynamo will not only revitalize but also transform our lives. The best way to silence these negative voices, or performance inhibitors, is by gathering information to dispel myths and fears and help you set realistic goals that will put you on the right track, says Pankratz. Then it's easier to make the next move.Three steps to success
Richard Earle, a psychologist and managing director of the Canadian Institute of Stress in Toronto, has developed a three-step program, called the Power Pattern, to help people tap into their eustress, which literally means "good" stress. In contrast to distress -- the type of stress we've come to associate with headaches and hypertension -- "eustress gives you the energy to carry out your plans," says Earle. "It mobilizes your inner resources in much the same way that calories mobilize your body."

Step 1 is to learn how to build energy through proper nutrition and exercise and conserve it through relaxation techniques such as deep breathing. In Step 2, you are developing your inner dynamo by focusing your energy and visualizing what you want to achieve. For instance, says Earle, "Picture yourself at the gym or helping others deal with a chronic disease successfully. Imagine what you're wearing, saying, doing and feeling."

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Expert techniques
Now your dynamo is ready to do her thing, but you need Step 3 to learn how to pace yourself so "you're not spending 85 per cent of your daily energy quota on a half-hour meeting or one week's training session," says Earle. Using techniques such as repeating affirmations of your abilities, you consciously regulate your body so you're "losing as little energy as possible," he adds. Depending on your physical and emotional strength at the outset, the three steps can begin to work in a few days.

But if you still find yourself stalling on the details -- the proper running shoes you need to buy, the volunteer registry you need to call or the appointment with the loan officer you need to make -- break down your goals into "turtle steps" that you can accomplish with ease, suggests Martha Beck, author of Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live (Three Rivers, 2002). For example, if you want to start running, begin with a five-minute session. "Trust me," writes Beck, "slow and steady wins more races...."Reach your goals
The slow-and-steady approach worked for Barbara: it helped her overcome her inner gremlin and reach her weight and fitness goals. "I worked with a personal coach, who taught me how to recognize my gremlin, or self-defeating thoughts, and separate it from myself," she explains. Next, Barbara and her coach worked on finding solutions for each challenge in her life makeover. "We broke everything down into individual problems and solutions, so everything became manageable," she says.

The process proved so inspiring for Barbara that she decided to take an accreditation course and become a personal coach herself. Within the past six months she has accomplished this goal, given seminars at a fitness centre and launched a networking group for women. While her days used to roll by with mind-numbing predictability, "it now seems like every day I'm doing something new," says Barbara. "And I rarely turn on the TV."

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