5 divorce support websites

Your Comments

• Carol Smith wrote:

  Oct 12, 2007

  2009-09-22 10:48 AM

  I was saddened by the recent article about divorce - very close friends are on the brink. I have been reading lately, in an effort to understand the path they are walking. Sources state that 2/3 divorces are initiated by women, and that within 5 years, 40% express regret. Many follow a distinct pattern: Feeling emotionally underappreciated, she decides that he's not right for her, and slowly stops caring. She starts imagining single life, may see a therapist on her own (referred by divorced friends?), and develops a plan for separation even before she tells her husband how she feels. At the same time, a relationship may develop (from flirting to adulterous) with an acquaintance or colleague. Her husband, meanwhile, is feeling that things have calmed down (the fighting stopped when she stopped caring) and is totally blindsided when she drops the bomb. Although this pattern is not applicable to every situation, it resonated with me as I considered several troubled marriages among friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Divorce is not the only treatment for an ailing marriage. I feel that we need to speak up before the papers are signed. As my dear friends struggle to find individual and marital happiness, our larger circle of friends is not idly watching, wringing our hands. We promised on their wedding day to support their marriage, and we continue to do so even at this difficult crossroads: people are offering child care when needed, sharing magazine articles (!) and books, and having some difficult conversations. It means offering love and sympathy, and stepping back to let them work on this very important project. We don't want to look back later and wish we had. ("Take Back Your Marriage" and "Divorce Busting", among other titles, offer Homemaker readers options besides divorce, and practical ideas for saving even a difficult marriage)

• Pete wrote:

  Sep 02, 2009

  2009-09-22 10:49 AM

  why is your article on divorce just from a womens perspective ? divorce is hard on men too , and they usually have the most to lose . The divorce industry is not male friendly and lawyers are crooks.

• Terri Matheis wrote:

  Aug 18, 2008

  2009-11-18 2:59 PM

  Just wanted to add The Sassy Pink Peppers as another divorce group resource to your article. Thanks! http://www.sassypinkpeppers.com

• Charlene Smith wrote:

  Sep 18, 2007

  2009-11-18 3:01 PM

  Be civil to each other. You both loved each other at one time. This is especially true if there are kids involved. Kids need and love both parents. Don't forget the promises you made to them when you brought them into the world. You both wanted the best for them. You both love them. Don't use them as pawns if you are bitter about the end of your relationship. Kids need all the love and support in the world after a relationship has ended. They go through all kinds of upheaval and emotions. Don't contribute to it by saying or doing things you'll regret later. Once said or did, it can never be undone, whether you meant it or not. You diminish yourself and lose their respect when you demean the other parent. Something I hope every parent remembers.

• Jon wrote:

  Jul 22, 2009

  2009-11-18 3:02 PM

  Hi I read Carol Smith's Comments and they were exactly like what happened in my situation. I am glad to hear this from a woman, because its more difficult to overcome the pain and confusion of a divorce being male. Let me say, I was not the best husband and the emotional stuff was not not my best quality. But the fact is that my wife of 5 years left me and my three little girls (1year old twins and a 3-year old) for some guy 7 hours away. The adultery was revealed to me by my oldest daughter who had spent some nights with them at his house. I cannot express the pain that felt I found out. And similar to the comment by Carol, she blindsided me with a divorce application, custody, support, and the threat of taking the kids to live far from their home with in that week. Fortunately, these issues were dealt with using a mediator and we have a custody agreement. We are just about divorced now. This has been the most painful, gut-wrenching experiences of my life. I am happy to say that our daughters are doing great and i have no reasons to worry. We have taken the oldest to counselling and found that she's fine. I have recently been able to forgive my wife for the sins she has committed. I always loved her and I want things to be co-operative for the sake of our children and our sanity. These divorce tips should resonate with those considering it, because it is not something to be taken lightly. It is so sad and lonely when you are divorcing. Not to mention the cost$$$ I hope that I have provided some fair assessment of what its like for a man to go through a divorce, and I would like to see some men support groups on this site, since they all seem to invite women only. God Bless us all.

• Mr. E wrote:

  Feb 17, 2010

  2010-02-17 9:49 PM

  Why is it so hard to find a support group for man? For months I have endured humliation from my wife with no one to turn to. I just want to talk to somebody and get things of my chest. Friends are gone, scared by my toxic wife, work is suffering due to my low selfestim (will loose it this spring for sure), collegues are busy with their life, lawyer is too expensive. Where do I go for help ? Is there anybody out there that belives that man are hurting too ?