Make time to listen and give your full attention for stronger relationships
3. WANT to listen
The desire to become a more compassionate and involved listener should come from within, De Sadeleer explains. "Often we pretend to listen and this causes relationships to go off the rails." Show your willingness to listen, even when it's not particularly convenient.
For example, there may be moments in your workday when you want to concentrate on tasks at hand rather than hear a co-worker's recount of their workout schedule.
But if you want to achieve a stronger, closer relationship with someone, you should actively want to listen -- even when it takes effort. If you don't have the time to engage in a conversation, say so: "Although I'd like to chat, I don't have the time right now." Then arrange a time, like a coffee break, when you can offer your full attention.
Lessons in listening
Caroline Winship, a newsroom producer at a major Canadian television network knows it's important to maximize her listening skills -- being a good listener is part of her job, after all.
Years of chasing good stories taught Winship to simply allow her sources to talk. "When you listen to people, you can learn more because their conversation takes you in a direction you never thought about," Winship says.
If you're a poor listener, you're probably missing out on more than just solid relationships. "Too often, people spend so much time waiting to hear what they want to hear and miss what is really important," Winship says. Valuable information can result from being an attentive listener.
Whether you want to open the lines of communication with a friend, your boss, your children or your partner, good listening skills encourage others to approach and confide in you.
While conscious listening takes time and concentration, the benefits are more rewarding relationships and a more focused, compassionate you.
MORE TO EXPLORE:
-Secrets of 50-year marriages
-Communication basics for couples
-Friends for 50 years
