Be the best holiday guest

Being a guest in someone's home over the holidays sounds so luxurious. But it can sometimes be more stressful than hosting, particularly when you can't help but feel that the slightest misstep might be the last straw that drives your burdened hostess straight to the loony bin. The best way to approach being the best guest is to keep in mind what it's like to be the hostess.

1. Lend a hand
Being helpful means doing little things such as making coffee if you are the first one up in the morning or emptying the dishwasher. In short, find discreet ways to make yourself useful that don't involve pestering your beleaguered hosts. Offering a hand with dinner is good, too, but only when you aren't in the way. "A guest, when told by the hostess that they don't need help in the kitchen, shouldn't insist," says Mallett. "If you are desperate to help out then go entertain Uncle Mike who needs to talk to someone about his new camera," she adds.

2. Show some initiative
The most difficult part of hosting friends and family for the holidays is keeping spirits bright. And often the best way to keep your hostess from regarding you as an ungrateful freeloader, who you will inevitably morph into if the dynamic veers off course, is to play your part and be sociable; that means making conversation and being fun. Be open to discussing Aunt Edna's linen collection or whatever your oddball nephew is doing with his shortwave radios, and don't ignore your hostess's in-laws if they are on the scene.

"It's great when your guests can hold their own in a conversation and don't sit there sulking in a corner," says Sarah. And if you're staying at someone's home for an extended period of time, keep yourself occupied rather than looking to your host. "Start conversations with open-ended questions, such as ‘Tell me about …' and ‘What was that like for you ….' Even if you think you already know everything about your family, the desire to learn something new provides an entirely different perspective," says Sukornyk.

3. Create some space
"I'm a big fan of giving one another space," says Sukornyk. "Go for a walk, make plans to see an old friend nearby, say ‘Don't worry about us for the afternoon' so you give your hosts a break from entertaining."

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