How to adapt to the situation
Your nest at work
To get your point across or to address a task that needs attention, Gayle says the best bird for the job is the Woodpecker. "Woodpeckers don't shy away from conflict," she says. "If there is an issue that needs to be addressed, Woodpeckers will do so.” But don't be a birdbrain: Avoid being an aggressive Woodpecker who relies solely on derogative remarks to get a point across. An assertive bird stubbornly adheres to his/her position but doesn't disrespect another's opinions.
For those with a more submissive character, use role-playing to practise a Woodpecker approach and you'll find that your self-confidence flies high. If you hit a stalemate, meaning your beak is hammering away with no results, incorporate some wisdom from the Owl. Step back from a situation and try to understand all perspectives.
Preserving the nest egg
The two best conflict styles for relationships are the Parakeet and the Hummingbird. "The Parakeet's behaviour is maintaining relationships... sometimes our relationship is so important that some things are just not worth fighting about," warns Gayle. For example, if your fun-loving partner wishes to go to Disneyworld, but you dream of skiing in Quebec, you may choose to wear the mouse ears because you realize your relationship is more important; you want to maintain a positive relationship.
When a bloated credit card ignites anger, fight fair by utilizing a Hummingbird's flexibility since this will demonstrate that you are willing to compromise and there is room for negotiation — but you still voice your concerns.
If you stick to one way of dealing with hostility, you create a circle of frustration that resolves nothing — so be flexible. Fear may be a factor when you enter into a disagreement with someone, but when you understand — and adapt to — different conflict-management styles, you can decipher the best way to get the results you desire.
What's your conflict style? Find out by taking our quiz!
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