How to say no
2. Give an explanation: "I'm working on a tight deadline" or "I have to get to a dental appointment." You don't have to get highly personal.
3. Offer an alternative: "Barb's really good at this, and she loves to do it" or "I won't be able to do it, but I can show you how to do it."
4. Offer to do it later: "I can't help you now, but I can do it next Tuesday."
5. Offer to do part of the task: "I won't be able to do all of it, but I'd be happy to do this part for you."
6. Ask her to help you prioritize: "Which of these projects would you like me to set aside in order to do this one?" She'll likely say one of two things:
a) "I didn't realize you had that much on the go. I'll deal with this another way."
b) "Set that one aside and do this instead."
Either way, she accepts ownership of the decision. She can't come back to you next week and say, "Where's the such and such report?" when she's the one who told you to put it away.
7. Ask for time to think about it: "Can I get back to you in an hour? I'll try to rearrange my schedule." Then, if you can't fit it in, call back and say, "I'm sorry, it's not going to work. Perhaps another time."
8. Ask what it's for: Help her clarify her situation and real needs.
Saying No is an important life skill in this fast-paced world. It's a way to protect yourself from stress and overload. Add the word No to your work-life balance vocabulary.
You can be tactful and still be assertive. You'll be surprised at how free you feel. And it gets easier the more you do it. If you want a role model, just watch any two-year-old the next time he says No to an adult!
 | Excerpted from The Little Book of Stress Relief by David Posen. Copyright 2003 by David Posen. Excerpted by permission of Key Porter Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. |
