Attitude and romance
3. Acknowledge the positives
Yes, this point closely relates to Point # 1: Speak up, but it merits reiteration because it's so important. "When something happens, express your satisfaction right away. Always place an emphasis on the positive," says Mariner. The more you express positive reinforcement, Mariner says, the easier it will be to bring up the negative stuff. It's about balance. Your partner will know he or she is appreciated, in spite of your unhappiness with the current situation.
4. Revive the romance
Remember how you used to give, give and give just to see that smile? Back then it was enough to know that your lover would be happy. Now, long after the dating years, it's time to bring back those selfless gestures. It doesn't have to cost a lot; it can be as simple as doing a chore when it's not your turn. Your mate will know you are still thinking of him or her, and in turn, allow your partner to think about you too.
5. Be affectionate
A spontaneous hug in the hallway or a lingering kiss over morning coffee — if it's been a while since you were affectionate just for the sake of that one hug or kiss, make an effort to give your partner some loving gestures. This one is a double bonus: it'll make you feel good too. Simple acts of affection can bring you closer, which Mariner says is essential if you want to connect in the bedroom: "You must be connected emotionally in order to be in the mood sexually."
The key to showing appreciation is to remember that keeping the connection alive can take some effort. Lasting relationships often need constant nurturing and communication. And remember, you're not in this relationship alone — make sure your partner knows he or she is appreciated. It's just as important as making sure he or she appreciates you.
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