Survival guide for couples
For couples, Valentine's Day can be a fun, whimsical occasion or a deeply romantic affair. Unfortunately, the day can also create high expectations that result in disappointment.
For single people, Valentine's Day can be a painful reminder of the relationship they long for or the loneliness they feel in their lives.
Here's how to manage the occasion, whether you're single or partnered:
For couples
1. Don't rely on your partner to read your mind.
If you have a dream or a specific desire for Valentine's Day, share it with your mate. If you want to be surprised, let your partner know. It's unrealistic to expect someone to know what you want and it sets you up for hurt or disappointment.
2. Give without expecting something in return.
If you anticipate receiving a gift and you don't get one, not only will you be disappointed, you can create the toxic culture of gift-giving in your relationship. Your mate may feel coerced or guilted into buying a present, and you won't take pleasure in something that was given half-heartedly. Only give what you experience pleasure out of giving. No more and no less.
3. Be realistic.
Don't expect Valentine's Day to solve or fix problems in your relationship. Enough said.
4. Remember, it's only a day.
Be careful how you interpret your partner's lack of enthusiasm over Valentine's Day. Just because your mate forgets to buy you a gift or does something small doesn't mean he or she doesn't care about you. Consider your partner's actions over the entire year, not just on this day.
5. Do whatever fits for you, and be OK with that.
You don't have to do some big or crazy thing if it's contrived or doesn't feel right. Don't hold yourself or your couple relationship to some idealized standard or feel that your relationship doesn't measure up if you don't meet grandeur expectations.
