Finding faith at 40

Imagine all the people
For years I had driven by the Unitarian church close to my home and felt drawn to this congregation that embraces the teachings of many faith groups without insisting on adherence to any one particular dogma. I didn't want to upset my family further by choosing something so remote from their beliefs, and I was reluctant to leave behind the good folks I had come to know at the United Church. But the desire to check it out tugged at me.

Within minutes of my first visit, I knew in my bones that I was in the right place, as a woman with the voice of an angel began to sing John Lennon's "Imagine." Hearing her sing so beautifully, in church of all places, about the meaning of ideas such as heaven and hell, was a stark departure from the certainties I had been taught.

I didn't realize it right then, but I had found what I thought was so elusive: a religious institution where doubt was understood, even expected. A place that focused on the celebration of the human spirit, rather than the stain of sin, and managed to transcend both religious differences and cultural boundaries. A place, at last, where I would find an idea of God that had been lost to me for so long. 

Faith is what we feel
It was difficult to explain to others why I felt so fulfilled. As Reverend Allison Barrett, then the minister at The First Unitarian Church of Hamilton, preached one Sunday: "Faith is, at its very core, a very unreasonable notion – one that we can only feel, intuit or imagine."

Now I look forward to going to church every week. I've come to realize that everything that's important in life is right there, among those rows of people I sit with on Sundays – inspirational teachings, the comfort of friendship, a place in the community, music that moves the soul, a striving toward social justice, rituals imbued with meaning and a positive environment for my children to learn and grow.

That doesn't mean I've found all the answers to the big questions of life. My spiritual search has taught me that there is much that simply can't be known, and that sometimes asking the questions is just as important as finding the answers. "The further along life's path I go, the more certain I am that great mystery lies at the heart of everything important," says Rev. Barrett. I'm with her. So much of life is a beautiful, magical mystery. What a comfort it is to share the ride with others.

This article was first printed in the May 2009 issue of Homemakers Magazine. Click to subscribe online and never miss an issue.