Mom's best lessons

Sometimes they're harsh and eye-opening, other times they're subtle yet profound. Life's lessons can define you, but there's nothing like a mother's instruction to shield you from harm and leave you with the kind of guidance you didn't even know you needed. We asked you to tell us about the best lesson you learned from dear old Mom -- the kind of tried and true wisdom you'd like to impart on your own kids. Here's a selection of your stories:Sue Pieper's Lesson: The power of positivity
My mother taught me -- through example as well as through words -- that there's always something positive you can do, no matter what the circumstance. She taught me how to recognize and use all kinds of resources to solve all kinds of problems and, even more fundamentally, that I have the right to change my situation. So when I don't like some part of my life, I never think I'm stuck.

Sometimes I have to work hard to find the way forward but I always assume there is one and eventually, I find it. My mother has no patience for "poor me" or victim attitudes, though she is compassionate toward people who are truly suffering. Her "chin up," problem-solving stance, as I've learned it, has been especially valuable to me since September 19, 2002 when my husband Omar, 48, died suddenly while watching TV with our (then) 12-year-old daughter. Though there's nothing I can do to bring him back, I still have control over how I approach life. The best way I can honour his memory is by living well, and I have my mom to thank for giving me a good strategy for doing so.

Lynne Carol Martin

June White's Lesson: Experience = knowledge
When I was a teenager, the usual line from my mother when I was about to get into trouble was, "You'll know one day, when you have kids of your own!" My standard answer was, "I'm never having any kids!" Little did I know that all these years later, I would be the mom to three girls (one is four years old and the twins are 17 months old).

Yes Mom, now I understand.

Janine Seenandan

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Phyllis King's Lesson: The choices and results are yours
My mother taught me a lesson that has lasted with me all my life -- when we make decisions we must live with the consequences.

The incident I recall most vividly was related to getting my hair cut as a teenager. I was agonizing about cutting my ponytail. My mother insisted it was up to me to make the decision. I was the one who would have to face the world with the new hairstyle. It was a small matter, cutting one's hair, and one that would eventually correct itself, since the hair would grow back, yet it was as if I suddenly grew up and understood a truth that was to last me until today -- more than 50 years later.My mother's point was to think through what I was going to do, stand by my decisions and accept the consequences, rather than involve, and potentially then blame, others if I made a mistake.

My decisions have obviously not always been the best, but I've learned from the mistakes, and, like my bad hairstyles, things can usually be improved with time.
Barbara Bisgrove

Limitless love
My mom passed away in 1994, I miss her terribly and I think the most important thing she taught me was unconditional love. I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger and no matter what, I was always able to turn to my mom and she would make me feel better and even make things better for me. She truly must have loved me unconditionally because I was not the greatest of daughters. This is what I try to teach my two daughters, to love someone is to forgive, not judge, try to understand, not blame.
Lorrie Clarke

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