A caregiver's risks
A caregiver's risks
Depression is frighteningly common -- and deadly. The Canadian Mental Health Association estimates that almost three million people in this country will suffer from the disease at one point in their lives, and that women suffer twice as often. The role of caregiver for someone who is depressed also often falls to a woman. These caregivers, in the heat of battle, are the ones who often end up overlooked. Their own worries, issues and support systems fall to the wayside.
The caregiver is often the only person in the line of fire -- the only one not driven away by the fierce heat a depressive can give out. Or she may be the only person still calling when a depressive has turned inward, shutting out the rest of the world.
A toxic cycle
Depression is a double-whammy disease: first it ruins your health, and then it (sometimes) makes you reject help. We all get blue from time to time, but we're talking here about clinical depression, the kind that you can't shrug off lightly. “Depression is actually a distortion of thinking -- a cognitive illness,” says Liberman. “People who are depressed can no more think positive thoughts than I can ask you to solve the theory of relativity.”
Liberman herself has battled depression. “There is a terrible stigma. It took me almost five years before I would even seek help, because the nature of the illness itself says it's your fault, you are the problem and this horrible thing called a mental illness is something to be ashamed of, a character weakness. Thus begins the vicious cycle and downward spiral: even if people want to help you, you deny help.”
What's behind depression?
A passionate activist, Liberman stresses that depression is a disease. “We know that depression is a change in the neurochemistry of the brain. We need to de-Freud ourselves. There is a measurable change in serotonin and dopamine levels in the brain,” the chemicals that control our moods.
Once you've got that indisputable fact down, the next step is gathering knowledge. Says Liberman: “If your loved one had heart disease or cancer, you'd learn about it -- the signs and symptoms -- and seek out the best medical care. Do the same for a person who is depressed.”
After that, a caregiver needs to learn to separate her feelings from those of the person who is depressed. With all the intense emotion flying around, there is a danger some can be transferred to the caregiver. The caregiver can get so wrapped up in her charge that her work will slip and her home life will crumble.
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