Swimming with beluga whales and drowning my fears

Swimming with beluga whales and drowning my fears

An anxious swimmer heads to Churchill, Manitoba, to splash with beluga whales.
Updated:
2009-10-11 11:59
Published:
2005-09-05 00:00
By 
Jennifer Melo

Swimming with beluga whales -- Wading in worries

Somewhere in Hudson Bay, I slide my tummy along the edge of an inflatable boat and plunge into the cold water where beluga whales live. As I'm submerged, I'm gripped by an all-too-familiar flash of panic that has nothing to do with the whales. What am I doing? I can't swim. The thing is, I can. I graduated from Adult Swim 3 about two years ago but it seems like I still need some convincing about my newfound swimming skills.

Wading in worries
For years, I remained in my comfort zone by avoiding the swimming pool. But over time, I realized how much my fear of drowning limited my experiences. While on vacation, a friend would freely dive into the pool as I'd watch from the shallow end. Enviously, I'd hear from fellow travellers who visited mystical waterfalls and lazed down winding rivers but I was restricted to the land-lover's activities. I secretly longed to snorkel, Jet Ski, and dive in with the rest of them. 

Taking the plunge
Seeking freedom from my fears, I nervously signed up for adult swim lessons -- and I was glad. It was comforting to learn that others shared my anxieties and I was surprised to find that I was more comfortable in the shallow end than many of my fellow drown-o-phobes. But when classes progressed to sessions in deeper water my fellow swimmers-in-training overtook me in the risk-taking department, diving into the deep end. I watched in horror from the pool deck's edge, plastered to the wall in case anyone got the not-so-funny idea of teaching me to swim "the hard way" by plunging me into the deep end of the pool.

There were a few sleepless nights and anxiety-plagued days as I faced my personal monster: jumping into the deep end. But I did it and, just as my instructor predicted, I floated to the surface. In a matter of months, I learned to float, front crawl, backstroke, tread water and dive into the deep end. I was swimming! Then why couldn't I call myself a swimmer? After spending too many years as a non-swimmer, I had to gain confidence in my newly acquired skills and accept swim challenges.

A challenge arises
When I received Travel Manitoba's invitation to swim with Churchill's beluga whales, I knew that this was an opportunity I couldn't miss so I eagerly signed up for the adventure; although, I wasn't sure how I'd actually accomplish what I'd set out to do. I wanted to prove to myself that I had indeed gotten over my fear of drowning. If I could swim with beluga whales in Hudson Bay, I'd successfully convince myself that I was a swimmer.

When I glanced at the upcoming trip's itinerary, I noticed a reference to kayaking. Aren't kayaks those claustrophobia-inducing vessels that trap your legs and are prone to tipping? I was concerned that while I set out to prove that I had conquered a major fear, I could very well set myself back if I plunged in to water with my legs immobilized in a kayak. What had I gotten myself into?

Bonding with Mother Nature
I spent the first three days of my trip to Manitoba wonderfully distracted by the charm of Winnipeg and the raw beauty of Churchill. On a tundra tour, I felt in sync with nature. I anticipated the next day's kayaking and noted how far I'd come -- from being a non-swimmer to diving into scary depths of water headfirst. Perhaps it was Churchill's pure, fresh air that offered clear perspectives or maybe it was the opportunity to take a retrospective look at my swimming successes that boosted my confidence, but somehow I settled my worries.

Kayaking was wonderful. Calm and in control, I was pushed off from the shore and happily paddled out into the Churchill River. Belugas surfaced around me, coming up for air and curiously trailing fellow kayakers. I appreciated peaceful moments of perfect serenity with the knowledge that had I not learned to swim, I would've robbed myself of this incredible pleasure.

Click to continue...

Swimming with beluga whales -- Bathing with belugas

Bathing with belugas
When the day to snorkel with the whales arrived, I woke up with a terrible cold. But I hadn't come this far to let a few aches and sniffles knock me out. I gathered my determination, pulled my wetsuit on and headed out -- but no matter how much I had prepared, nature had her own plans for me. Seven journalists and I were going to snorkel in the warm waters of Churchill River but instead, we dipped into Hudson Bay where the water was colder but the visibility better.


In Churchill, the polar bear capital of the world, my cold had me feeling like a polar bear was sitting on my chest. As soon as I slid into Hudson Bay, the icy water took my breath away and I had to remind myself that I could swim. Struggling to find comfort with the snorkel's breathing tube, I plunged my face into the water and immediately pulled it back out as cold water seeped into my wetsuit. I straightened up for a few minutes but was determined to force my face back in. I relaxed my body, controlled my breathing and dipped my face back in for a while. I couldn't see any whales so my thoughts quickly turned to the cold water on my chest. But at least I was distracted from worries about not being able to swim.My fear of drowning was gone -- perhaps it was replaced by a sudden fear of pneumonia that told me I should get out of the water. Back in the boat, I noticed another member of our team was still in the water when a pod of inquisitive belugas swam right below her and she was thrilled. Disappointed that I didn't stay out longer, I contented myself with a breathtaking view of a pod of about six gracefully rising and falling in the water. Once again, I was thankful for the experience; after all, I wouldn't have dreamed of taking part in this just two years ago.

Hope floats
My swim sessions have come complete with many personal lessons. I've learned that in water, just as on ground, expecting too much from myself can lead to disappointment; but not expecting enough can lead to missed opportunities and stunted growth. I've also learned to push my boundaries but kindly accept my limitations. Do I dive head-first into waters of unknown depths? Not if I can help it. Do I tense up when a huge wave threatens to swallow me whole? You bet! Even if this fear is hiding beneath the surface, I'm confident that I've splashed back at it, gained enough comfort to stay afloat and I've kept myself from drowning in it.

I imagine the day I'm completely fearless of drowning is the day that humans develop the ability to breathe, unassisted, underwater. Until then, I'll take my personal victories where I can get them. Yesterday it was in the deep end of a community centre's pool, today it's alongside beluga whales in Churchill, Manitoba. Tomorrow, I may visit a waterfall and laze in a river -- because I can. I'm a swimmer now, you know.

Not so fast!
As if to provoke, fate threw another challenge at me on my return flight home. After circling a few times under grey skies over Toronto, we finally landed but wouldn't be allowed to disembark until a red alert was lifted at the airport. There was a lightning storm hovering overhead. As antsy passengers grumbled about possibly missing connecting flights, I was preoccupied by other perils. Landings, and fuel, and lightning -- oh my! With one fear conquered -- sort of -- another one moved right in.

_

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