How to start your legacy letter
How do I start a legacy letter?
There are many ways to start a legacy letter. "The simple way is to look at the peak experiences in your life, when you felt especially alive, and talk about that," says Woodcock. "What was important about those moments and what did you learn?"
You might uncover plenty of insights in a personal diary. "I recommend people start with doing a lot of journalling," says Barnicke Belleghem. Don't expect to knock off a legacy letter in an afternoon. "A legacy letter is an evolving document, detailing what matters to the writer and what they want people to know and believe about them. Developing it over time gives you the chance to deeply consider, and revise, the words you leave behind."
Still not sure how to start? Find a quotation that means something to you and write about it.
What should I use as a medium for my legacy letter and what should I write about?
While pen and paper, or a computer, are the obvious choices, don't overlook turning your legacy letter into an audio or video recording. The only rules are the ones you impose on yourself.
Think beyond the traditional letter to items you can include in, or with, your legacy letter -- pictures, recipes, drawings, and a box of mementos from your life.
Typically, you would be doing your own legacy letter or recording, but you might choose to involve your family in the process, whether you use the written word or an audio back-and-forth about your memories and values.
Are there particular subjects I should keep out of my legacy letter?
Technically, there are no bounds to what you can discuss. But be aware that just as a legacy letter can go a long ways to resolving issues, explaining lives, and imparting values and memories, it can also be an instrument of pain for the recipients. Telling family secrets in an end-of-life letter can mean that the fall-out from telling the secret may go unresolved.
For example, discovering the existence of a sibling who was born out of wedlock and given up for adoption, has the potential to create anger and pain in family members who might feel they were entitled to know this information sooner. In these cases, Barnicke Belleghem often works with, and encourages, clients to tell the secret earlier. "There can be amazing healing around this."
Warning! Be careful to keep your legacy letter consistent with your will. If your legacy letter contradicts your will, there could be cause for confusion and legal issues may arise.
Regardless of the method and content you choose for a legacy letter, keep in mind that your legacy letter should mean as much to you as it will to those who will read it.
Recommended reading
Nothing Left Unsaid: Creating a Healing Legacy with Final Words and Letters (Da Capo Press, 2006) by Mary Polce-Lynch
My Last Wishes: A Journal of Life, Love, Laughs & a Few Final Notes (Harpercollins, 2007) by Joy Meredith
How to Tape Instant Oral Biographies (Bantam Doubleday Dell, 1992) by William Zimmerman
Want to read more on Homemakers.com? Losing Shawn: A sister's memoir explores one woman's feelings about the tragic loss of her brother.
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