Sexual health is a good measure of overall health
We've all heard claims that the passion and fire of the first years of a relationship are difficult to sustain over time. Are couples in long-term relationships doomed to settle into complacent and mild sex?
No, says Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of several relationship-based books like She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman and Sex Recharge. "In fact, retirees are some of the happiest, most sexually satisfied people I have worked with because they often have less stress in their lives; they have more time to dedicate to themselves and to their relationship, to their health and to their sex lives."
What are the benefits of regular sex?
"Sexual health is a barometer of overall health," says Dr. Ian Kerner. "So if you have a healthy sex drive and a healthy, satisfying sex life, it's a great indicator that other parts of your life are also satisfying." While Kerner contends sex is not 100 per cent of any relationship, sexuality and the expression of sexuality is a key part of your identity. "Sexual attraction and a sexual bond is often what brings people together in the first place — it helps cement a relationship — and I think, generally, when couples aren't having sex they become vulnerable to other negative factors like anger, detachment, and infidelity."
Who's at risk for a boring sex life?
So, if it's as Dr. Kerner says — and racking up the years in a relationship doesn't coincide with racheting down the sexual interest — what puts couples at risk for boredom in the bedroom?
You might be surprised to discover that, often, the factors that put people at risk for infrequent or unsatisfying sex happen outside the bedroom. "Stress, worry, little resentments that often grow in a relationship, complacency, not caring if you're attractive to your partner any more," says Kerner.
And the element of surprise can fuel a satisfying sex life. "Often, routine is a sex killer; sexual attraction thrives on the opposite — spontaneity, mystery, unpredictability," explains Kerner. "As our lives become more routine, it becomes harder to cultivate that sense of unpredictability."
Harder, yes. Impossible? No.
Click here to learn how you can spice up your sex life...
Page 1 of 3
No, says Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of several relationship-based books like She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman and Sex Recharge. "In fact, retirees are some of the happiest, most sexually satisfied people I have worked with because they often have less stress in their lives; they have more time to dedicate to themselves and to their relationship, to their health and to their sex lives."
What are the benefits of regular sex?
"Sexual health is a barometer of overall health," says Dr. Ian Kerner. "So if you have a healthy sex drive and a healthy, satisfying sex life, it's a great indicator that other parts of your life are also satisfying." While Kerner contends sex is not 100 per cent of any relationship, sexuality and the expression of sexuality is a key part of your identity. "Sexual attraction and a sexual bond is often what brings people together in the first place — it helps cement a relationship — and I think, generally, when couples aren't having sex they become vulnerable to other negative factors like anger, detachment, and infidelity."
Who's at risk for a boring sex life?
So, if it's as Dr. Kerner says — and racking up the years in a relationship doesn't coincide with racheting down the sexual interest — what puts couples at risk for boredom in the bedroom?
You might be surprised to discover that, often, the factors that put people at risk for infrequent or unsatisfying sex happen outside the bedroom. "Stress, worry, little resentments that often grow in a relationship, complacency, not caring if you're attractive to your partner any more," says Kerner.
And the element of surprise can fuel a satisfying sex life. "Often, routine is a sex killer; sexual attraction thrives on the opposite — spontaneity, mystery, unpredictability," explains Kerner. "As our lives become more routine, it becomes harder to cultivate that sense of unpredictability."
Harder, yes. Impossible? No.
Click here to learn how you can spice up your sex life...
Page 1 of 3
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